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ON HAVING GOOD SEX (choke me)

Why can’t women just have good sex? – Anonymous

I think there is a disconnect between what women think they want and what women actually want. Girlfriends of mine in their late 30s or 40s claim that they are looking for nothing more than an honest, kind, smart guy to sleep with. ? Surprised ? You shouldn't be. Most women in New York echo this sentiment, 

Men are draining. I only want open relationships. I don’t need more than that.

It seems to me that after decades of trying to find, keep and please men, women between the ages of 35 and 40 finally begin start pleasing the one person who really matters: Themselves. Does this have something to do with the fact that women hit their sexual peak in the early-mid thirties, much later than their male counterparts. 

What if we had sex like gay men? A friend asked me recently, “What if we spend the rest of our twenties just having good sex?

What if?! What if we didn’t try for relationships until we knew more about ourselves? Until we knew more about who we are? What if we just had good sex?

I find that most 20-somethings don’t have good sex 85% of the time. Men AND women. Guys are  often mimicking what they see in porn and girls are  more focused on LOOKING sexy than FEELING good. Are we even enjoying this? Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had amazing sex in my life, but you have to admit that for women, it's different.

Most guys can get off every time they have sex. Like pizza, some sex is better than others but all of is good. The male equipment is  simple to master, being an external organ and all that. Women on the other hand, are profoundly more complicated. Mentally women have to be accepting of themselves and have the ability to entirely "let go." The patriarchal society we live in often makes for the sex we have to be entirely male centered, #AllAboutHim #OverIt

For the record, I’ve never orgasmed from actual sex, unless other stimulation was occurring! In fact it wasn't until I met my current boyfriend that I get off every time, .. This ish is HARD to find as a female! But it shouldn't be. Women have yet to be recognized as sexual beings with entities, desires or control, don't believe me? Just look at the current political climate of the U.S.

What most women do in bed is a reflection of what women do in life and most of the time it falls in the overplayed and outdated, “Please a man, impress a man” narrative. Time to AXE that. PLEASE yourself, IMPRESS yourself. CHOOSE yourself.

When is the last time you had really, really great sex? As in toe curling, screaming, not he  ALMOST got you off and then he did this weird thing but it turned out OK.. No no no, please, tell me.. I’m dying to know. Admittedly, I am starting to lose faith in the mojo of millennials..

I do wonder what would happen if women in their 20s (put ya hands up!) started focusing on themselves, putting themselves first, and started belonging to no one but themselves. If young women started looking for good sex instead of trying to form a meaningful relationship every, single, time. What would this do for our gender? OR FOR THE ENTIRE WORLD?! Imagine that. A world where young women demand better sex from men. A more sexually pleased generation of young women. 

I think I may have just found the solution for World Peace ;) Alert the U.N.!